Slytherin learns to drive
by Ruthy4vrSmoaked
Summary: aka how the Gryffindor princess loses her patience He bugged her head to teach him how to drive her car. She thought giving a driving lesson would be a piece of cake. Is he a good driver or does he drive her nuts? written for Strictly Dramione Prank Fest April 2018


**1000 and 1 thank you's for my amazing beta, Kessymaniak, for the support and her inspecting eye, catching my slips and adding suggestions along the way.**

 **1000 and 1 thank you's for Coyg_81, helping me create a visual for this story.**

 **And all the love for those who take the time, to read my very first contribution to a fest!**  
 **I've doubted for a long time if I could pull it off, and took the leap of faith.**

 **I hope you enjoy it, as much as I have while writing it.**

 **(See the end of the work for more notes.)**

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"Let's go Draco, take the driver's seat, I'll be right next to you."

He was so excited as a toddler with a new toy, his smile ear to ear wide, shining grey eyes and she almost saw him hop towards his door.

Draco had bugged her head for weeks now, pleading her to teach him how to drive her muggle car, an ordinary black coloured Vauxhall Corsa. Of course, she made him first take his theoretical examination, which he passed perfectly, taking the test between other muggles with earphones in their ears, in a room full of computers. He found those portable music devices so cool that he ended purchasing an Ipod shortly after, again bugging her head off to know how to get all that music inside the device, which led into her borrowing her Mac to him, for the necessary uploads and synchronizations. "Keys Hermione, please?"

"Not just yet, you need to wait until I have explained to you, how it all works."

"Love, no lecture, please?" he pleaded with a thin smile.

Returning his thin smile, she answered, "No smart arse, please? Pop in the car Draco."

Both took place, him behind the steering wheel, caressing the leather like it was his newest broom. Pressing the horn button, he smirked at the sound, "Oops? Sorry, not sorry."

She became impatient, "Malfoy, do I have your attention?"

"Yes, Miss McGonagall." Her risen brow told him she didn't really like his funny remark, "Sorry, love. I'll keep my trap shut now."

Her impatient look made him smile wider, and to release some steam, he pecked a kiss on her lips unexpectedly. "I'm one and all ears."

Her finger ticked on his nose before she started, "Steering wheel, 2 arms one of the wipers and the other for signalling when you take a turn or change lanes." Her finger pointed at every component, "The arm with signals works like your steering wheel if you go right you push up the arm if you go left…"

"I press it down, got it."

"Draco, this is important, people can't foresee if you'll turn right or left." He tried to keep his face straight, she sounded so stern, "Then if you pull on that same arm you'll engage shortly your big lights."

"Big lights?" The flicker in his eyes drew a sigh from her lips, drawing his gaze at them, "Do you have new lipstick on?"

"Oh Merlin, Draco!" Hermione bonked with her head a few times lightly on his shoulder, "Nock it out, please? Or I'll stop."

"I like this new colour on your lips, can't help it. But I promise to refrain from another sexy remark, I fear otherwise that tonight will be a dry session."

"Drier than the Sahara Desert, believe me." She sighed, but her lips curled into a smile, "At night or in foggy weather we use normal lights to be visible. The big ones are only used in case of heavy fog or because you need to draw special attention to the driver before you."

"Perfect, I'll use them all the time, to warn others to, 'Step aside, Draco Malfoy is coming!' I'll never be stuck in a muggle traffic jam." His arm gestured from left to right according.

"Whatever king Malfoy, now the pedals. Left is the clutch, the middle one is for the brake and the big one on the right for speeding. The clutch is used to stall the working of the engine so you can change gear and to aid in your breaking and slowing down. It works as a buffer."

"What is that gear thingy?" His eyes were no longer shining with joy but out of curiosity, she nearly could see the wheels turning behind them, a feature she loved about him and was so different compared to Ron. Just like her, he loved to know how things worked, instead of simply taking them for granted.

"To know the technics behind it, you will need to ask my dad, he knows all about it. But basically your car works in phases of power, from starting the engine and when you go really super slow, to his full power to drive fast. But to get to the highest phase you need to elevate the power in stages."

"So basically, going from slow to fast gear is not possible."

"The car might do it, but you'll find yourself driving an engine that is so slow in catching up that it enervates more than if you just work from first to second and so on. But again, I know how to drive, but I don't know how a car works under the hood, I really don't care as long as it drives."

"And your father knows more?" His brain was going into overdrive, she almost could see smoke coming out of his ears. She nodded first and shook her head right after, smiling, "Boys and their toys."

"Okay, when do I get to start this baby?" He was so adorably eager to drive, stroking the steering wheel in anticipation, barely paying attention to her explanations, "With your left foot, you keep the clutch pressed, and the right does the same with the pedal in the middle, and you check if your gear lever is in his free position…"

"The clutch and the break, alright. Done." His face became drop-dead serious, listening to her instructions now with intent, "Free position?"

She shook at the lever, demonstrating, "It's not locked into any gear, see? Now, turn the keys and hear the engine start."

The roaring of her Corsa engine brought a wide grin to his face again, "What do I do, Hermione?"

She looked up and surveyed the parking space of a factory where she had brought them to, double-checking if it was still safe and empty for a couple of rounds before joining the traffic, "The trick is to find the point where you release your left foot, because you sense that the car wants to move forward."

As she explains it, he lets his foot go and the car stalled quite abruptly, his sheepish look made her irritation melt, "Slowwlllyyy." Faking an angry face, she ordered, "Again, left foot pushes down the clutch, hand moves gear stick to first, and you need to release it slowly until you feel the car pull up."

It took three more attempts, forcing Hermione to hide her grin behind her hand, before he finally got the hang of it, "Thank Merlyn, one more yank like this and I'm sure to be developing neck problems! Now you move your right foot over to the right pedal, the gas and you press it gently, while keeping your clutch foot in the same position."

Gently was a word that Draco didn't really understand the meaning of, as he released one and pressed the other down with more energy than necessary, forcing the car to fly straight forward, "Hermione?"

"Oh damn you, Malfoy, press the brake!" With the same force he used on the gas pedal, he presses the brake and made them almost collide with the dashboard. She grumbles first, calming down soon after, "Don't worry, I did the same. It's just scary. Just please try not to push down hard, but slowly, please… gently." She demonstrated with her hands, what gently meant, grinning. "Gently, not hard!"

He was still shaking, scared, "Let me try again," shoving some sweat drops from his forehead. It took him again two attempts with some jerking before the car was willing to cooperate, some foul words and a few new safe brake tries, before Hermione finally agreed to let him drive on the road.

He joined in traffic just like that, taking a turn left, "Draco, your signal! And next time, check if you can enter a road first!"

"What?" He glanced her way quickly.

"Draco you need to signal before you take your turn, people aren't seers, and you need to make sure you can merge too, not like 'I'm here, out of the way'." Her finger pointed at the left arm on his steering column, demonstrating right after that he couldn't just enter a road.

"Okay, use signal." His hands on the wheel pointed at 5 to 1 pm, strained from the squeezing he did, "Why is that douchebag slaloming behind me?"

"Maybe Mr. Malfoy because you are driving a tad too slow?" She squinted her fingers, "You are allowed to drive at 30mph here and you are doing 10?"

"Oh." He pushed the gas pedal deeper, jerking the car into a faster speed, switching his glare between the meter and the window, "Alright."

She saw a crossroad approaching but he was keeping his speed up, "Draco, you need to slow down?"

"Why? You just told me to drive faster." He looked at her, scrunching his face. "That's right, Draco, but you are approaching an intersection, and you always should slow down towards it, you don't always have priority." She was gesturing, seeing the crossroad approach faster than she liked.

"I'm a Slytherin, I always go first."

"You are an amateur at driving, slow the car down, use the clutch, press gently the brake, shift from second to first gear, and make sure it's safe to cross it."

"Straight ahead?"

"Yes, Draco, right now straight ahead."

His definition of soft really differed from hers, the car jerked and they both almost flew against the dashboard, "Gently, Draco." He gave her a lopsided smile but lost it fast when he noticed in his rear mirror the car behind him flashing the big lights. In response, he raised both arms inquiring what that other guy's problem was. "Draco what are you doing?"

"That slalom douche guy is flashing his lights."

"You did brake quite abruptly."

"And?"

"Let it go, Draco, drive further." With a wave of her hand, she dismissed him, sighing.

Draco pouted, "I should have hexed him."

"Malfoy, clutch the damn pedal and move this car forward!" Hermione barely contained a grin at his salute, but let a sigh escape when he easily got the car moving forward, _at least he got the hang of this one._ A new intersection closed in on the horizon, this time with traffic signals. "Don't speed up too fast now, it has jumped on yellow."

"But you can drive through yellow, you told me so." His you-told-me-so face with pouted lips and gleaming eyes was making her so hard to keep her face stern. "Yes, Draco, thank you for memorizing this fact, but I also told you, that you only should do it if you cannot stop safely. If you can than the yellow acts already also as a red light."

"Stupid thing, red, yellow, green, when we fly our brooms, there's no traffic lights."

"Mr. Malfoy," rolling her eyes at his logic, "This is not your Firebolt is it?" Though, he couldn't resist pushing the gas a bit deeper and still get through that yellow light, alas he was forced to press the brake pedal pretty deep, the sound of screeching tires startling them both, "DRACO!"

"I tried to squeeze past it." He looked angelic at her, to hide his guilty feeling.

"This was a bad idea, me being your driving instructor." She was shaking her head, already regretting having said yes; they had only driven two blocks ahead in an industrial zone and she was already experiencing more stress than expected, "Draco, we have time, don't try to squeeze a thing. We don't have to be somewhere at a certain hour, so safe driving…" Before she could say more, the green light appeared and she waited until Draco would get the car going, "Draco?"

"Yeah, I'm on it." Somehow he couldn't get the balance point between pedals, "Bloody hell, stupid thing, work with me." He felt the nerves heating up, more so when he heard the buzzing from cars behind him, "Fuck you, you arseholes, I'm on it…"

"Draco, take a deep breath and do it calmly." The buzzing got louder and she looks behind her annoyed by the lack of assistance. She had put the blue L sign on her rear window indicating that someone was learning to drive, and still the impatience was tangible. "Brake pedal in, clutch pressed in but smoothly lifting up."

"Oh fuck, it's red again. Damn it." He had become itchy for failing to work under pressure, and on the top, irritated by the annoying buzzing and the dirty looks from the driver right behind them, who still happened to be the annoying prick with his flashing lights

She tried to calm him, fearing a hex or two directed at that same prick, "Patience, happens to everyone."

"Not to you, my lovely swot."

"Even to me, just ask my dad," his smirk at her confession, lightened the mood inside the car, "Draco instead of waiting for the green light to find the point, try to sense it now, but keep your foot on the brake." She heard him test the waters and was relieved to hear that he had found it, "Now at the green, straightforward." Their sighs came out simultaneously, "You see the driveway? I want you to take it when we get there."

In a race car move, he cut through the traffic, to turn left, "AHHH Draco! Shit, you can't just turn left like that."

"Why not?"

"Because this is not a fucking Quidditch pitch, didn't you saw that other car coming?" She didn't know if she was feeling more panicked or angry at his reckless move.

"So?"

"SO? Draco, I've told you at home that you need to make sure you can take your turn." Her patience was melting faster than ice under the sunlight.

He retorted, "But why should I have to wait? The other one must stop!" She noticed him taking the ramp at a snail-like pace again, "No, he doesn't, and please, Draco, speed up, this is a ramp for the motorway, you need to speed up to 70mph."

"I can speed up now?" his eyes gleamed.

"Yes, at the ramp towards the motorway you make speed, to merge into traffic smoothly; when it's coming off of one, you slow down."

His foot pressed forward, "Here we come!"

"Draco, have you looked at your right side? Can you merge in safely?" Her left hand grabbed the door handle, in an unconscious move to hold on.

"Watch and learn." With a hard turn to the right, he merged in, forcing an approaching car to detour who in return buzzed loudly and flipped the finger. "See? By the way, that guy was rude." Her pale face stared back at him, "You okay Hermione?" Her weak yes didn't reassure him, "Love?"

"Love? You forced that other guy to take another lane, Draco, driving is not demanding your space. It's cooperating, checking if maneuvers are safe to be executed," the scare turned into rage, "It's like a zipper, taking turns and sometimes having to slow down until it's your turn. Definitely when you are driving at a considerable speed, for Merlyn's sake." Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to compose herself, while he looked at her, taken away from her rage.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I'm just too much excited and this is more complicated than I thought." Keeping an eye on the traffic before him, he reached his hand out to hold hers and squeeze it light, while he reduced his speed to a 50 an hour.

"Now I understand my father better, I might have given him a few heart attacks back then, from some of my stupid moves." Her hand rubbed her forehead, "Okay, motorway, remember what I told you about driving and the mirrors?"

"Keep an eye on them and straight ahead, overtaking to a new lane if needed, drive not above the 70's. I've got it, right?"

She nodded, "Perfect, now, this is the place to drive fast, let your foot go, but keep the speed in check, and change gears calmly."

Wiggling his brows, he didn't need to hear it a second time and took off, luckily for him it wasn't busy and he had the left lane almost empty ahead, "I see a lorry," Hermione .

"I remember, mirror, signal, maneuver." He carried it out smoothly joining back in the left lane, "Am I a good boy now?" He faced her, beaming, "Yes, Malfoy." He kept wiggling his brows, staring at her, "Draco what are you doing?"

"Staring into your beautiful brown eyes." Wide grin and gleaming eyes stared back.

She shoved his chin to the left, "Then face the traffic, what are you thinking? Eyes on the road!"

"I'm doing what the O'Conner guy does, drive while staring at his lady." Thinking his explanation would calm her spirit.

She was caught by surprise, "You mean Brian O'Conner? On Too Fast Too Furious?"

"Yeah, the blonde cop, I memorized his move and I have been dying to test it with you." He faced her again, smirking.

"Git, that man is, no was, a car racer, and besides it was a fake scene, his car was on a tow truck while they shot that." She pushed his chin back to the center, "Eyes on the road Mr. O'Conner, and keep an eye on that speedometer, you are going over the 80's now."

"Oops…" he released lightly his foot, slowing down to the maximum speed, "What do you mean, was?"

"Paul Walker, the actor that played Brian, died in a car accident a year or two ago, if I'm not mistaken. From all what I know, he was a great man, and is now an angel in heaven."

"You sound like you had a crush on the guy." His accusing glare was filled with a surge of jealousy, but she simply stated, "He was quite a stud, blond surf boy with blue eyes. Oh bloody hell, I have a type!" She covered her mouth with her hand, giggling.

Draco's face, however, wasn't smiling along, he was point-black pouting, "Blond and blue eyes, hé?"

"Nowadays I'm more into the grey." She stroked his hair, smiling wide, but pointed out to the meter, "Speed, Draco…" Concentrating on his mirrors and ahead, he changed from left lane to the middle, and then the right, before returning to the outer left one. "Draco?"

"I like to slalom too…" He decided that driving on the motorway was his favorite thing about driving a car. "Just like flying with the broom. Love, I'm buying one of these convertibles, imagine feeling the air through your hair."

She grabbed a tress of curls in her hand, pointing out, "Me, speed and this hair? That will be quite a sight." Mentally she was already planning on buying one of the headscarves, _maybe a vintage red with white dots_ , smirking on the image that came up in her head, "Draco, at the next exit, I want you to get off this motorway." Appraising his reflexes to check around him, she saw him take the off-ramp, slow down to the crossroad and reach a full stop at the red light, "Nicely done, 10 points for Slytherin."

"Only 10, hé?" pouting, "Where to now, miss O'Conner groupie?"

"Go around the roundabout and take the third exit." She raised three fingers.

He frowned, "Come again?" Moving the car forward, he waited for her to repeat her instructions, "Count the exits, and take the third." His speed was faster than her talking and both realized that he missed the way out, "No worry, Draco, a new tour around and try again." He grunted from sitting out for three new red lights before exiting, "Draco, why are you driving in the middle of the road?"

"It's safer."

"You need to drive in your lane. That's what the stripe on the middle of the road means."

"But those white pillars on the side are too close to the car." He indicated to the stone pillars on the side, raising a brow.

"Check your left mirror then. But you can't take the whole road for yourself, use your lane."

"Alright, alright…"

"Draco, now you are too close."

"Too far, too close, too fast, too slow…" He mocked her face and tone, "Pff, woman. Relax."

"And you should keep your wheel straight, stop messing with it." His fumbling on the steering wheel and zigzagging on the road was working on her nerves, "Slow down at the next set of lights and turn to your left, we are going back home."

"But I want to drive more, I'm enjoying this." He sounded just like a toddler that had been told to quit playing.

"You are giving me grey hair." Shaking her head, she lectured, "Draco, now be careful you are entering the suburbs, its more dense traffic, no flying!"

"Yes, Mother." Mimicking her face, he kept driving, but the street they entered, was tighter than he liked and instead of driving on his lane, he kept the car in the middle of the road, eyes shifting between left and right mirrors.

She warned him, "Draco, stick to your lane."

He shook his head, "Too close."

Hermione kept insisting, "This is not how you behave in traffic, stick to your lane so other cars can cross you." A sharp correction of his wheel made her slam her body against the door, "Gently, don't maneuver so harsh… DRACO, you almost hit the mirror from that blue car!" Her open fingers were strained from panic.

"You told me to drive closer."

"But I didn't ask you to hit all the mirrors while you drive through, this is not a bowling game."

He looked confused, "A what?"

"Draco, keep more distance between my car and the other ones; please, while you keep driving on your side of the road!" He corrected, but yelled seconds later, "WHAHH!" He used both feet on the brake, jerking them against the dashboard; the car peeped in a complaint but stopped just a few feet away from a mother crossing the road with a toddler on a pedestrian crossing. "Pff just made it."

Starting the car again, he moved straight forward, recognizing now where they drove, as the route to her parents' house. Carefully looking to his left, he saw her covering her face with both hands, shaking, "Hermione?"

She waved off with a shaky, "Just drive and turn on your second left," still startled from the episode, but at the same time grateful for his fast reflexes and cold-blooded intervention, she tried to control her breathing, "Oh Lord, have mercy."

"What did you say?" He didn't understand her murmuring, "Nothing Draco, just go." He focused on the route and took his turn left as she instructed, seeing her parent's house from afar. His left turn, however, was quite wide and she winced, seeing how close he came from taking a post along with him, "Please, Draco, leave the street signs where they are, I don't collect them." He grimaced in apology but didn't have the courage to say a word.

Her father was waving from the driveway, enthusiastic, but had to jump out of the way, Draco's right turn almost ran over his feet, "Boy, you got to work on those turns," he remarked, smirking, but his smile faded away; Hermione got out of the car, slamming the door harder than he was used to from her, throwing her arms in the air, "I'm never doing this again, dad. I've aged years in just a half an hour."

Henry clapped on the back of his daughter, "I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"Dad, believe me, it was." She headed inside, needing something strong to drink and calm down. "You teach him further, I quit… MOM, where are you?"

"Hermione!"

"Yes, dad?"

"You know what they say about karma." She huffed in response, stomping now instead of walking.

Draco approached his father-in-law carefully, "Honestly, this driving thing is more complicated than I thought. You have to pay attention to so much, clutch, brake, mirrors, people in front of you…"

"You don't have mirrors on your broomsticks do you?" He couldn't help it, seeing his son-in-law this shaken from his first driving lesson, made him laugh. The blond joined in, in his fun, shaking his head, "No dad, we don't."

Henry closed the car first, something witch and wizard clearly forgot, and joined the wizard on his path home, slapping on his back, "I think you deserved a beer. I brought you something, while you were gone." Curious grey eyes met familiar brow ones, "Catalogues of some nice car brands, knowing your taste for something more upscale."

"Convertibles too?"

The older man broke in a laugher, "A convertible and my daughter's hair?"

"Hermione said the same."

-oOo-

He found her sitting at the back yard, enjoying a sip of vodka-cola, facing the sun with closed eyes. The sight made him stop, the sun highlighted her brown hair, giving it here and there a golden shine, and her face had a peaceful layer, relaxed. He approached her with soft steps, moved a chair to sit in front of her and pulled one of her feet on his lap, unlacing her sneaker and rubbing her sock cladded foot just the way he knew she liked.

"Hmmm," Hermione let a moan escape her lips, that curled in delight, he knew precisely how to touch her, where to press, making her spin like a satisfied cat.

"Are you still angry at me?"

Her eyes remained closed as she shook her head, her smile bigger in response.

"I'm sorry for being such a lousy apprentice, I've underestimated driving." Applying just the right amount of pressure, he felt her toes curl and heard her deep sight. She spoke with a husky voice, "Don't fret about it. My dad was right, I gave him enough scares too, back in my time. But he had more patience than I showed, so I appologise to you too."

She switched and wiggled her foot on his lap, after kicking her sneacker away, demanding silently for the same treatment for the other side, which he gladly obliged, "Hermione."

"Hmmm." She refused to open her eyes, though she giggled, "Yes?"

He towered over her, staring at her face; Hermione grunting from the shadow he created, "Have I told…" kiss on her left eyelid, "You today…" feathery kiss on the right one, "How much…" kiss on her forehead, "I…" kiss on the top of her nose, "Love…" peck on the cheek, "You?" light lip lock.

He waited until she opened her eyes, fixing her gaze on his, "I forgot it, maybe you need to say it again."

His fingers stroked her cheek lightly before cupping it gently, "I love you, Mrs. Malfoy."

She barely had the time to speak, "I love you, Mr. Malfoy," before his lips caught hers in a passionate kiss.

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 **A.N.:**

 **I didn't need to search much on the internet, for experiences in being the instructor. I only needed to tap into my own experience teaching my 18yr girl how to drive. What you see Draco pull off, believe me, I've endured it and much more. I've also learned that I should let a stranger teach her before I become grey haired. I'm an excellent driver, but passing on your knowledge is not so simple, so if Hermione loses her temper, so have I, believe me.**

 **This humor fic is a bit biographical, aside of the fluff in the end (that has been added last minute thanks to my dear beta, Kessy. I almost forgot to add some Dramione love.)**

 **Feel free to share your feels after reading, writing humor is also a new adventure for me. Have I nailed it or should I stay away from this genre?**


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